This version is resynced against CVS HEAD, and now does a ShowWindow in the right place (just after the embed notification not in some random WM message).
This won't be merged so I'm sending it to wine-devel not wine-patches. Getting it merged is blocking on either somebody giving me example code for [un]marshaling an HICON into a block of memory or (best fix) images being moved into the wineserver. This is on Ulrichs todo list but if anybody wants to beat him to it, go ahead, it's still some time off yet.
thanks -mike